Is Inner Peace possible in the Modern Age?
Interview by Dr Marina Nani
Tony J Selimi is an internationally renowned author, keynote speaker, human behaviour and cognition expert known as The See-Through Coach. He is an authority on the psychology of maximising human and business potential, leadership, emotional intelligence, co-loving relationships, and operating at high levels of achievement. He is the co-founder of Jeton Alexander, Living My Illusion and he dedicated last three decades to exploring & expanding the frontiers of human awareness.
What is the value of understanding and living with Inner Peace in the modern age?
‘Well, the first thing is to help other people understand the benefits of being at peace with your truth, the value that inner peace could add to your life. Being able to share, transparently, with passion, with love, your vision and learn to articulate, with words, their feelings helps the communication between people from different paths of life.
Sometimes, people around you can’t really understand what you are doing and why you do what you do. When you share transparently, people start to understand you, what you are doing and why you are doing what you do for yourself, for the people you love, for your business and for humanity. First you have to make peace with who you are, accept yourself and your truth
When you have something, which is your calling, and you're listening to that, and you become extremely authentic with yourself and you're not outside of your comfort zone, you can actually inspire a lot of people just by being loving and just by sharing why you do what you do.
For instance, the reason I'm on this mission to inspire one billion people globally, is that I believe, with all of my heart, that if a billion people around the world were to learn what I've learnt in the last forty-seven years, I believe our world would improve tremendously, in every area of life, alleviating a lot of things like poverty and having a different class systems, to eliminate monetary problems, racial problems and all the problems that we currently experience in the world.
I believe the intelligence is there, within every human being, and for me as a teacher and somebody who goes around the world, inspiring a lot of people, it's about raising that level of awareness. I believe that this intelligence runs in every human being, no matter what your background is, no matter what your education is etc.
When you start awakening that intelligence from within the self, people start feeling inspired to bring their natural gifts, their creation, their innovation to the world, to make a difference, and resolve specific problems according to the credibility they have.’
The relationships you create with others, the relationships you create with the people you love, with people you’re invested in, and with total strangers, give you the courage to share your truth.
When you see every human being as equal to you, meaning you don't see labels, you don't see limitations when you look at people, you don't see what clothes they wear, what religion they come from, what place on the planet they come from and you approach people with curiosity, you become as curious as a child, who comes into this world, and learns new things.
Everybody in the world is curious, so, when people ask you a question, take your barriers down and allow the other person, through curiosity, to discover things about you, and engage in the most amazing conversations with people, without even knowing anything about them.
When you approach people with judgement, and you have this preconceived idea about what this person is about, people are more likely to close down on you, so it requires some masterful skill, to be able to work on yourself, first of all, to dissolve those polarisations that are created over periods of time, from the moment we're born.
Whether we were raised in one specific culture, educational system, with people who are living with adversity, does not matter. We tend to build so many different ideas, beliefs and values that we hold dear to our heart, and then when somebody challenges us we shut down.
Now, we move to a new conscious shift, we can actually open up and share transparency, even when somebody challenges our values. You could look at it as challenging your values or, you can look at it as awakening those values within yourself.
When you start seeing those things within yourself that you judge outwardly, you start owning them, and when you start owning them, then you can have a massive communication channel, between two people, who never met each other. When we judge ourselves, we judge other people too.
When you raise your vibration to the one of love and above, you start to equilibrate many of the skewed perceptions that we've built about the world outside of us, to become in flow, in harmony with the world and you become in flow with other people.
You can offer the most amazing relationship and build that relationship where information can flow. If I use a metaphor, I can take my mobile phone, and everybody can take their mobile phone around the world, and the moment you switch it on, it connects to another network. Because the networks already have a trustworthy relationship it enables us to communicate anywhere in the world. The same thing happens in relationships.
When you are trustworthy, in yourself, and you know you have this quality, and you transparently communicate that with other people, and you start building this trust, people are more likely to open up to you and share with you. This is whether it’s in business, whether it’s personal or any kind of relationship they may want to share with you. If trust is not there, or people fear you, then it will never be a proper relationship, it will always be masked.
What is the importance of a good relationship with Inner Self?
When you create a relationship with someone else, and you are not ready to have a good relationship with yourself, to be kind to yourself, becomes a challenge to be kind to somebody else. For someone who has been badly hurt, it is difficult to return to a place where there is trust, love, where there is understanding and where there is empathy.
I'm an ambassador of peace and inner peace and I'm helping people create better life-lasting relationships, with themselves and others. The truth is there have been many, many experiences that all gave me the same feedback, whilst aiming to inspire as many people, around the world, to elevate their consciousness and upgrade their inner-system, so they are in peace with themselves.
When you are in peace with yourself you can actually create this global peace and you can create peace with other people. What really inspired me, I'm not sure if you know my story, I wrote about it in both of my books, “A Path To Wisdom” and “#Loneliness” I wrote about being in a civil war for almost fourteen months and being in a civil war in a country I loved, and in which I grew up, then suddenly, as a teenager, you're taken away from school and trained to kill, you start to question life and you start to question everything about life.
Having experienced so much adversity in war, and you can imagine what happens in war, and then ending up being homeless, on the streets of London, when I could not speak English, I had no family, I had no friends, I had no roof over my head and I had no education.
I was just taken away from education and I had to fight. I was forced to fight the very same people I love. When you go through those almost “Hell and Earth” experiences, they're so powerful, it makes you question everything about you. It makes you question everything about life. It makes you question everything you believe in. It makes you question everything that nobody ever talk about, and when you go through that, your default state of being is imbalanced.
When we come, as children, into this world, we are a clean slate, and we have no beliefs and no values. It’s just like everybody loves a baby, and what happens over a period of time is that we get to have so many injected values and beliefs and we tend to programme our inner-being in a way to see the world from an imbalanced perspective.
A lot of people in the world speak about love, but if you look at the way they see the world and if you look at their perception behind that, and their experiences, they're actually completely outside of that and what true love means.
Most people have this idea, that love is only when somebody supports you, but not when it challenges you, and here is where the problem in the world is, where we do not see the full complete picture, with complete awareness, with our perceptions, with our beliefs and with our values, but we have filters and the more we do our inner-work, the more those filters start disappearing, and we become transparent with other people, as if, almost, this life comes out of you, and people literally, are magnetised by you being with them.
Most of the time, people don't even know what they want to be. When you talked about being involved in the civil war, it's clear that you had only two options: die or be born again. You really have to unlearn everything you knew, to be able to learn the survival techniques and the rules of engagement.
After surviving war, I was barefoot and homeless, and now I am a limitless source of good and I inspire so many people around the world. I’ve removed all barriers to move from one moment to the next, almost defeating the logic of the what is happening in my life.
I was scared and shocked and didn’t know anyone. I had to grow into the person I are now, who can deliver my life’s purpose. It has been a tough journey. I say “tough” and not “challenging” as “challenging” would be an understatement. Surviving trauma and finding inner peace is a process when you grow your own wings. When you look at where you are and where you want to be, there was nothing in between, no airplane, no parachute, but it feels free!
If you could imagine having your own wings, and to be able to fly wherever you want, at will, that's how it really feels, but I also feel very blessed and content.
Where is the source of Inner Peace?
First of all, my inner peace comes from that place of deep gratitude for life, meaning everything around you, the things that you like, and the things you don't like. The challenge for most people, is being grateful for the things that they do not like. In my experience, and in the shifts that I have gone through for the last twenty-seven years, there have been so many challenges that it's almost like this not just relief, I would say a deep feeling of being content and being grateful.
Being in this space of inner peace is the reason for what many people, around the world, now invite me to either speak, or inspire them, or coach them, to work with their children, with their families, with leaders.
I just did a talk at the U.N. about the importance of inner-peace for global peace. I've been interviewed by Jack Canfield, Brian Tracy and stations around the world, so I feel very blessed when I reflect back that twenty-seven years ago I went through all of those things and so much more.
I could write a book about being homeless for six months and what it feels like, as a teenager, with nobody in your life, and the desperation behind that; not only from a perspective of being challenged, when it comes to food, clean water, clothes and a roof over our head, but actually being totally isolated, migrating to a place I knew nothing about.
Sometimes, it's surreal, when I watch myself in the mirror and ask myself, how it's possible for any of us, in the world, going through those massive shifts, to survive? That's also what inspired me to really write more and create more products and services to help people understand, that no matter where you are, no matter where you come from, no matter who you are, there is tremendous wisdom and intelligence embedded in you.